Joy in Marriage

Joy in marriage ideally should be pursued as a good in and of itself. A lot of vagueness in Christian culture suggests that joy in God should be set to a higher level than joy in God.

I suppose it all sounds right in theory. God is first my joy in him should be higher than my joy in my spouse.

You know the bible doesn't speak this way. The reason is that life is tough and faith is tough. If my joy in God and faith in God goes through a rough patch should I reduce my joy in my spouse to compensate?

I know this is a fallacious question but I keep feeling there is a subtle reality going on that the pursuit of joy in God is always before joy in your spouse.

I look at all the Christian marriages around me were I see couples who appear to be struggling in their marriage from what I can tell. It seems they all agree on this proposition.

You see either/or thinking is very logical. It is easy to see how it is mistaken for biblical teaching. The reality is the bible is more complex. It does not fall into such simplicities.

Yes there is an order to things but the bible avoids many statements which are good on paper but not practice. You see playing joy in God before joy in spouse is a man made formulation.

It appears to be a proper formulation of biblical truth but it is flawed. The truth is a both/and pursuit of joy in ones spouse in and of itself is fulfilling he law.

I understand the well meaningless of placing of priorities but you see God is not in need but often our spouse is. And this is the issue.

Our spouse will distract us from placing God before spouse at all many times. And it is Godly to accept this distraction because serving our spouse is serving God.

Jesus came not into the world to serve but to be served. You see service to those in need is serving God.

Ensuring the joy of our spouse is serving God. You cannot place serving God above your joy in your spouse because you have failed to serve God if you marriage had difficulty because you chose God before your spouse.

And spousal joy is pursuing your own joy. Because joy in marriage needs a mutual nature. You cannot simply seek to please the other you must seek to please yourself.