At times you will find those in the church discuss marriage and family as a form of character building. It is as if in an unsaid way marriage and family are a form of suffering which produces character.
This is true to an extent but marriage and family are primarily a source of joy. Often we get what we expect. If we expect suffering we receive it.
Often people experience great difficulty in their marriage and family life because they act one way before marriage and a different way after.
You see we cannot expect a relationship produced and flourish under one set of conditions to be completely unaltered under another set of conditions.
And this is the flaw of many marriages. What made the dating and engagements successful is immediately dropped upon marriage. You see the marriage with difficulty can be fixed by returning to what made it successful in the first place.