An obstacle in many people's decision-making processes, whether they realize it or not, is the desire to be liked. It really can be a driving force behind what a person ultimately chooses for all sorts of decisions, big and small.
The problem with this is it can cause bad, or not the wisest, choices to be made. For instance, a person asks you do something, like go to a movie with them, but you really feel that you should rest because you're feeling sick or too tired from the week. But ultimately, you decide to go because saying "no" may cause that person to be displeased. Not all people understand the need for rest might trump hanging out. But of course the healthier and better option is to say "no" in a case like this.
One way to help make better choices is to, instead of asking "What will this person think of me if I make certain choices?" ask "What is the best for me and all involved?" In the case above, saying "no" is the best overall. It'll help you feel better, and may help the relationship or the other person too. If you rest, you'll have more energy to spend quality time later with that person. If the person is offended by the "no," then it's good you said "no" because it shows indications on how to proceed in the future (like how real the friendship is—if it's only that person caring for oneself then it isn't much of a friendship).
If you ask more "What is the best for me and all involved?" when making a decision, it may more likely cause good people to truly like you compared to if you were to always ask "What will this person think of me if I make certain choices?" Truly good people most likely will respect and appreciate those who are aiming for good. You may get more resistance and questions when making decisions based on what's good for all involved—sometimes people don't see it as "good" and may disagree—but it's worth it.
The Bible tells us to do things to the glory of God (1 Corinthians 10:31), and God desires the good of his people and for his people to help others. So this falls in line with what God wants for us too. He doesn't want us to focus on worrying about the self too much (Matthew 6:25-34). "Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you" (Matthew 6:33)
Showing posts with label choices. Show all posts
Showing posts with label choices. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 12, 2016
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
The Goodness of The World
The material world is inherently good. The fall of man and man's sinful nature do not change the fact that the material world is good.
Of course the material world was subjected to futility in the fall. It is a world under a curse, but it is still fundamentally good and declares the power and glory of God.
Many people wish to suggest that things are inherently bad. Material abundance is inherently good. Of course it is our choices which are good or bad.
With great blessing comes a great responsibility to seek to bless with what we are blessed. Maybe the issue of doubting the goodness of the material world comes from the bible's harsh words against many rich people in the biblical narrative.
Of course you see that it is not their wealth for which they are condemned. Job before and after his suffering had great wealth and he was the most righteous man alive.
Many theologians wish to read the story of Job differently and are foolish to do so. God clearly states there was no one as righteous as Job in his day.
To critique the errors of Job is to critique the errors of the most righteous man in his day and we should do so lightly, you see that is the point of the story how the men who critiqued Job greatly sinned.
The errors of the rich which are condemned are oppression of the poor, refusal to help those in need, reliance on wealth, and turning away from God. There are many people with wealth that are not condemned.
You see it is not wealth that is an issue. "Money is the root of all kinds of evil" is not a biblical principle. Rather it's a very poor paraphrase. Rather it is "The love of money is the root of all kinds of evil." Many people scoff the difference is small.
It is not small at all. You see money is a tool. If we wish to use it to serve God then it is a tool for good. It is rather our attitude toward money which makes it good or bad.
Of course the fallen heart of man is what made money have a dangerous power. But it is not the money or the material things it offers that are the issue, but rather how the sinful heart sees those possibilities.
Of course the material world was subjected to futility in the fall. It is a world under a curse, but it is still fundamentally good and declares the power and glory of God.
Many people wish to suggest that things are inherently bad. Material abundance is inherently good. Of course it is our choices which are good or bad.
With great blessing comes a great responsibility to seek to bless with what we are blessed. Maybe the issue of doubting the goodness of the material world comes from the bible's harsh words against many rich people in the biblical narrative.
Of course you see that it is not their wealth for which they are condemned. Job before and after his suffering had great wealth and he was the most righteous man alive.
Many theologians wish to read the story of Job differently and are foolish to do so. God clearly states there was no one as righteous as Job in his day.
To critique the errors of Job is to critique the errors of the most righteous man in his day and we should do so lightly, you see that is the point of the story how the men who critiqued Job greatly sinned.
The errors of the rich which are condemned are oppression of the poor, refusal to help those in need, reliance on wealth, and turning away from God. There are many people with wealth that are not condemned.
You see it is not wealth that is an issue. "Money is the root of all kinds of evil" is not a biblical principle. Rather it's a very poor paraphrase. Rather it is "The love of money is the root of all kinds of evil." Many people scoff the difference is small.
It is not small at all. You see money is a tool. If we wish to use it to serve God then it is a tool for good. It is rather our attitude toward money which makes it good or bad.
Of course the fallen heart of man is what made money have a dangerous power. But it is not the money or the material things it offers that are the issue, but rather how the sinful heart sees those possibilities.
Saturday, June 14, 2014
Choices and Their Implications
Often in life when we encounter deep problems there can be an easy short term path to avoid dealing with the problem and a longer path to solve the problem. We can often deal with the short term symptoms of the problem or the longer term causes.
Often as people we like to take the easy path. It is often easier to ignore this or that recurring issue with a relationship and patch it in this or that way than to seek a fundamentally better relationship.
Our sinful nature causes us to be shortsighted and we often do what is best for today, ignoring the longer term implications of things. Often we need prayer for how to go about our lives.
Being mindful of our tendency to live in the moment at the expense of the long term is important. Debt is a good example of this. Often it is easy to mindlessly acquire debt if we are not careful.
What feels good in the moment may be truly painful in the long term, but we often cannot see past the moment. It is why the bible often warns us to be very thoughtful about entering into debt.
There is never any absolute condemnation of debt in the bible but always a warning to consider that debt is non-ideal and to enter debt with caution. Debt is something to always consider with care and not to take casually.
It is ideal to consider the the short and long term consequences of choices. The short and long term result of choices can often be radically different.
Often as people we like to take the easy path. It is often easier to ignore this or that recurring issue with a relationship and patch it in this or that way than to seek a fundamentally better relationship.
Our sinful nature causes us to be shortsighted and we often do what is best for today, ignoring the longer term implications of things. Often we need prayer for how to go about our lives.
Being mindful of our tendency to live in the moment at the expense of the long term is important. Debt is a good example of this. Often it is easy to mindlessly acquire debt if we are not careful.
What feels good in the moment may be truly painful in the long term, but we often cannot see past the moment. It is why the bible often warns us to be very thoughtful about entering into debt.
There is never any absolute condemnation of debt in the bible but always a warning to consider that debt is non-ideal and to enter debt with caution. Debt is something to always consider with care and not to take casually.
It is ideal to consider the the short and long term consequences of choices. The short and long term result of choices can often be radically different.
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
Christianity and Culture
I have recently been reading a book analyzing Niebuhr’s categories of Christianity's relation to culture. I have always found the topic of some interest.
The only thing I can conclude about the relation of the Christian to culture is that it falls into the category of wisdom. The analysis of the Christians relation to culture that I have read in books always seem to fall short.
The bible has a lot to say about the relation of the believer to the culture and the state but often it seems that what is said does not give a large amount of guidance to an overall relation but rather a set of guiding principles.
I can only feel the relation of the Christian to the culture depends on the culture in which one is in. Often there is a certain situation specificity to life that is somewhat bothersome to people.
The bible presents an absolute religion with absolute truth. To no accept the absoluteness of scripture is to be liberal and have unbelief.
Alas wisdom is an absolute category in scripture. In the category of wisdom falls many things and these things depend upon a gift of understanding from God and a trained personhood to know the difference.
You see the criticism of relativity is a rejection of the categories which the bible promotes. I wonder why we wish all the answers to be easy in a box.
I guess wisdom is frightening we need to grow and question and be thinking peoples. It is as if God has entrusted us with the duty to use our judgment.
The call for judgment is a call for man to be as he was in the garden a man of power making decisions. We should love God and do as we please.
You see as a Christian we are free. God has entrusted us with sonship to make choices. We must use judgment.
People often see God as being very specific in giving direction of life. He is very specific in the principles of direction but not the details.
As his sons we need to work out the details for ourselves. If we love him and look to the principles he wishes us to live by we cannot go much wrong as we live by faith.
The only thing I can conclude about the relation of the Christian to culture is that it falls into the category of wisdom. The analysis of the Christians relation to culture that I have read in books always seem to fall short.
The bible has a lot to say about the relation of the believer to the culture and the state but often it seems that what is said does not give a large amount of guidance to an overall relation but rather a set of guiding principles.
I can only feel the relation of the Christian to the culture depends on the culture in which one is in. Often there is a certain situation specificity to life that is somewhat bothersome to people.
The bible presents an absolute religion with absolute truth. To no accept the absoluteness of scripture is to be liberal and have unbelief.
Alas wisdom is an absolute category in scripture. In the category of wisdom falls many things and these things depend upon a gift of understanding from God and a trained personhood to know the difference.
You see the criticism of relativity is a rejection of the categories which the bible promotes. I wonder why we wish all the answers to be easy in a box.
I guess wisdom is frightening we need to grow and question and be thinking peoples. It is as if God has entrusted us with the duty to use our judgment.
The call for judgment is a call for man to be as he was in the garden a man of power making decisions. We should love God and do as we please.
You see as a Christian we are free. God has entrusted us with sonship to make choices. We must use judgment.
People often see God as being very specific in giving direction of life. He is very specific in the principles of direction but not the details.
As his sons we need to work out the details for ourselves. If we love him and look to the principles he wishes us to live by we cannot go much wrong as we live by faith.
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