Should Christians Care About Building Self-Confidence?

Self-help books and articles are everywhere. Should a Christian grab a book off the shelf or click on an article that encourages this? Sometimes Christian books and articles even seem to have a strong feeling of self-help.

The answer to this question depends on the person and how a person approaches these types of writings, because it's likely that parts of it should be ignored or disagreed with but other parts may provide some helpful points. A person who is able to know what to disagree with and what works may possibly find these slightly helpful. And, of course, there may be some books and articles that you can tell right away aren't as helpful as others, and those can be passed on.

One part of these that should be ignored is sentences that start with, "You deserve ... " As Christians, we really can't say we deserve anything. We feel grateful for all the good things in our life, recognizing God's daily help in our lives. And, it's really Jesus who is deserving, not us. We should regularly be thinking how great God is to save sinners like us and how he continually helps us grow.

We should have confidence in ourselves in some way, though, but not in that we deserve anything, but in that we are created in God's image and are given a beautiful mission from God. God wants us to be confident in that we are his children, and we are valued in that way. People who struggle with self-confidence may be somewhat mean to themselves but treat others well, or lack confidence in themselves but have lots of confidence in others. God would like us to respect and love all people, including ourselves. So there is some importance in thinking of one's self and being good to one's self, as long as that's not the only focus of a person.

Parts of self-help books and articles that are helpful could be some pointers here and there that have similarities to the Bible. For instance, one may say to focus on the positive things in life and try to not think negatively a lot or be around negative people. That's a great reminder of Philippians 4:8, where it tells us to think on good things. I even read a book that wasn't labeled as Christian that had advice for work that had this advice, that too much negative can be very unproductive and difficult.

I'd recommend, if a person knows they want "self-help," to not necessarily go to these types of writings, but  to find something that really focuses on God's great, unconditional love for us but still acknowledges the fact that we are sinners and imperfect in this life, but God's helping us (sanctification). It's a healthy balance. To grow, we need to know we are imperfect and what areas we need to grow in, but to also not lose hope, we need to remember how forgiving and loving our God is, and his help in our lives. I've enjoyed reading Martyn Lloyd-Jones and would recommend his writings if you can't think of any author/preacher right away.

6 Articles on Grace

We have many beautiful things because of God's grace: a relationship with God, life, and hope to name a few. A lot could be written about it. Here are six articles from this blog on the topic:

1. Grace which Moves. "Grace should move us to live out our Christian faith. It is our union with Jesus through faith which transforms us." 

2. Grace. "Grace is undeserved. People often wonder why God chose them. Why me and not someone else? ... The name of the Lord 'I Am' denotes pre-existence. It also denotes freedom. God will do what he pleases and when he pleases. He doesn't need man to approve or care if man approves. God is perfectly good, but his goodness is not like what many men consider God. Many people view bad as good."

3. Grace on Ourselves. "It is at times the case that God is more willing to have grace on us than we are willing to have on ourselves. There is a certain type of reflection on sin which is morbid and unbiblical. Jesus' work is sufficient."

4. Law and Grace in Cycle. "Law and Grace form a cycle in the bible. Law drives us to Grace. We know we need grace because of law. Grace teaches us to love and follow law. We cannot separate the two. "

5. Common Grace. "Common grace is a term for the grace which God bestows on all mankind. This is different than a saving grace. Since all men have sinned we all deserve the wrath of God. Common grace is the good which God brings on men in this current life."

6. Cheap Grace Is No Grace. "Most articulations of grace are very interesting. However one articulation of grace is fairly ugly 'cheap grace.' Cheap grace is roughly a position that says that once saved by grace one can live as one pleases. A number of people reject grace as independent form law because of the fear of cheap grace. The reality is grace is apart from works. But by ones works you can perceive the truth of the grace. A saving faith will never be followed by a life with no fruit."

Grace

Grace is undeserved. People often wonder why God chose them. Why me and not someone else?

Usually the answer people give is God could have chosen anyone. He is free and it is not something in yourself.

That is true and mostly on track. But the point is that grace is always undeserved. You see you do not deserve grace and no one deserves grace..

You see the questions like "was there something about me which caused God to chose me?" are wrong by definition. You see God chose not based on the facts, but contrary to the facts.

You see the good news is it is not about you. God is happy to save and he always saves apart from the facts of people's lives.

You see salvation is based on union with Jesus through faith. It is Jesus' blood that covers our sin and Jesus' life that fulfills the perfect obedience that God desires.

We make this so hard at times. We tend to get exasperated over the details and why this or that. But we need to realize God is free.

The name of the Lord "I Am" denotes pre-existence. Everyone notes that, but there is more. It denotes freedom. God will do what he pleases and when he pleases.

He doesn't need man to approve or care if man approves. God is perfectly good, but his goodness is not like what many men consider God. Many people view bad as good.

Ultimately God wants man to accept and follow him, but he will not be different than he is for men to come to him. He sets a very clear way.

He sent his only son eternally God and man into the world. When Jesus came into the world the last days began. The cross is the ultimate place of glory.

It is a choice. To choose God's ways and be foolish before man, this is to choose Jesus. Or to choose to be wise before men and reject God.

What We Deserve

It does not surprise me in the least that non-Christians often feel like they deserve better than what they are getting.  But, I am constantly surprised by how Christians (including myself) often feel like we are getting less than we deserve.  What we deserve is this:

Rev. 14:10-11: He, too, will drink of the wine of God's fury, which has been poured full strength into the cup of his wrath. He will be tormented with burning sulfur in the presence of the holy angels and of the Lamb. And the smoke of their torment rises for ever and ever. There is no rest day or night for those who worship the beast and his image, or for anyone who receives the mark of his name.

No matter what the Lord gives to us, surely it is better than what we deserve.