Love in Friendship

Friendship is more than certain activities or gifts. Card giving, calls, and remembering things about a friend's life are often what people think of as actions that create or maintain friendships.

It's true that these can help a friendship, but they are not what makes up the friendship. If these are done without love, they are empty, and not really helping the friendship. If a friend senses they're only done out of a to-do list, it'll feel empty.

1 Corinthians 13 says if there is no love behind or motivating these actions, these actions are really nothing of worth. Every person desires to be known and truly accepted, and these actions don't necessarily mean that is happening in the friend's heart.

All of those actions I mentioned are good, but only when they are honest actions, produced or motivated out of love.

This also applies to how we approach God. We should aim to get past only focusing on a list of actions to do, and aim to do things more out of a sense of wanting to truly know God and accept his Word.

The Strength of Love

A woman mentioned her top goal was to be a good friend, wife, and mother. She could have picked from a number of things to pursue, but the one she's choosing to focus on is doing good for those closest to her. To be a good friend, wife, and mother is to love them. Love produces action.

I liked this woman's top goal, because she could have chose anything but she chose this. Her goal could have been her career growth or learning or vacationing or fame or awards. Or she could've not had one top goal but tried to gain all of these at once, which seems to be most people's way. But what mattered most to her was showing love to those closest to her.

The reason that this seems so powerful is stated in 1 Corinthians 13. Love is so powerful, and without it, actions and knowledge are meaningless.

If love is so strong and powerful, and if the two greatest commands include them, then this should always be part of our goals in life.

The first two words after 1 Corinthians 13 are "Pursue love" (ESV). When we plan for goals for next year or even what to do for today, let's remember those two words.

Christian Love

The bible says that if we have all virtue but lack love then we have nothing. Love is the ultimate Christian ethic.

The faithfulness of our Christian life stands or falls on if we act in love. There are many aspects of living an ethical life, but love is behind all of these elements.

"Love God and do what you please" said St. Augustine.

If we truly live our lives with a desire to please God then we are living our faith to the fullest. Christianity is about fellowship with God.

Christians have the power to change the world when the joy from our fellowship with God overflows in the world.

Introverts

Christians should be accepting and respectful of traits of introverts. Christianity is one where love for others is very important, and loving others includes allowing others to pursue what they enjoy.

Often people in their excitement to get a group at church going expect everyone to come to large groups and enjoy it. An introvert might not. Being in a big group is usually not fun to introverts. It's often exhausting: It's too much information all at once—an introvert loves to think about each idea, and often feels exhausted after large group meetings and parties where hundreds of ideas are thrown out there.

Even worse is if a person looks down on someone, or if a person is hard on themself, for not constantly going to events and parties, when really it's very often a matter of indifference. There is more than one way to get to know people, and being in a large group doesn't have to be the only option.

A person might look down on an introvert assuming that introverts don't care about people. But that's not true. When introverts are not with people they still like to think deeply about people and life and things. Talking with close friends is something they love.

If a person doesn't go to your event, the reason most likely is not that they don't like you or people. They just might not prefer being in a large group setting at that time. You might love the topic of the event or love being around lots of people at once. And that is good and fine, but you can't expect others to have the same preferences as you. Introverts at times do want to venture into large groups—it's a great way to meet people who might become close friends, something introverts love—so it's worth inviting them. But expecting them always to come isn't good.

True Love is Unconditional

True love is unconditional. Often we find in the world and church love which has a condition.

You find people who love those that love themselves. They love family and friends as an extension of themselves.

You see love is like an extension of a business deal. Love is based on utility or convenience or some other good.

There is truth in this sort of love, but if falls short of Christian love. Christian love is love which continues despite human logic.

You see in a sense to the world Christian love seems irrational, because it loves even when love does not make sense. Jesus laid down his life for us while we where still enemies.

You see in life true Christian virtue is of a different type than the virtue of the world because it goes farther. Lewis said that the issue with our desires is not that they are too strong but that they are too weak.

It is often true. Christianity is a religion which tells us that we care too little and are too concerned about the small details. You see we miss the point of life so often.

We see this or that tiny thing as important when it has no importance and miss the great realities of life at work around us.

Christian Love Is Unconditional

Christian Love in the highest form is based on what Jesus has done. Often love in the world is transactional in nature. It is based upon mutual utility.

The love of God is different in that God loved us while we were his enemies. God's love is unconditional and despite reason.

God offers that all who come to Jesus in faith become part of his family. Christian love differs from that in the world in that in its highest for love exists dispute reason.

Love as the Apologetic

One of the few truly interesting apologetics Christian's have is love. Love in the Christian sense is interesting because it is so counter cultural to the world.

Christian love differs from love in the world in that it is beyond reason. We love not because of what is, but what could be or because of what Jesus has done.

You see Christian love is not without reason but its base is in an event in the past or in future possibility. Christian love often ignores what is.

That is why the early church spread so quickly. There was something very distinctive about their love.

Argumentation or debate are apologetics with little use. Most debates are ended emotionally long before the intellect is engaged. You see that man does not like the Christian message about himself because he must first accept his nature.

It is good for man to accept his nature. But he does not like the message.

Ultimately the solution of free grace through faith is dependent on the realization of need. The good news of salvation is only good when we realize the actual state we are in.

Active Christian Love

Christianity without love is not possible. The bible says that if we have all things, but not love our faith is worthless.

You see one of the great issues of the day is a failure to practically understand and promote Christian love. There is a great concern for ethical living and proper thinking, but love often falls to the wayside.

You see if we live ethically and think properly and expound proper teaching but do not have love then everything we do is worthless. Love of God and love of neighbor is the sum of all true Christian ethics.

Christian ethics which do not teach an active and outward expression of love to the world are completely unchristian. Prayer is also not a full expression of love.

Prayer is vital in the Christian life, but too often people fall back on prayer as the only expression of love they are comfortable to express. This is a completely insufficient expression of Christian faith.

Prayer should motivate action. We pray and prayer is of the most importance, but a prayer which does not motivate action is worthless prayer.

If we pray for our brother or sister in Christ but our prayer has no concern toward action from ourselves then our prayer is insincere. If we pray this or that for a person but do not actively consider how we may be of help our prayer has no sincerity. We pray out of duty and not truth.