Love for God and Spouse

The instruction to love God more than your spouse isn't as helpful as people think it is. Love is not easily measured and is in some sense a gift. We love God because he first loved us. We don't know why, since we know we are sinful creatures, that we recognize such beauty in God and are drawn to know him more.

It's more helpful to say "Love God with all your heart, mind, and soul, and love your spouse with all your heart, mind, and soul." Why do these have to be mutually exclusive? When you love your spouse as much as you can, you are also loving God—God wants us to love our spouse, and love sometimes shows itself when we are doing what the object of our love wants (and in this case it is God).

When I hear people say something like "to have a good marriage, love God," it makes me a little sad. It's missing the other person in the equation—the spouse. It'd be better to say, "to have a good marriage, love God and love your spouse." Sometimes in spiritual matters people forget to include people (but spiritual matters always involve people—it's most often about God and people interacting). Maybe they're afraid we will love people so much that we forget God. But fear often causes trouble and unbiblical rules. We can't forget God if he's truly given us faith.

God cares about people and our relationships. He's not worried about comparing how much we love this or that. He cares that we do love, that we practice and grow in the fruits of the Spirit.

So love God and love your spouse. Don't waste time on trying to measure something that's hard to measure.

Let's be more positive than negative in our statements about marriage. To start, let's say that marriage is something that, when we love our spouses well, can help us understand more our relationship with Christ. The Bible relates our relationship to Christ like a marriage.

Love in Friendship

Friendship is more than certain activities or gifts. Card giving, calls, and remembering things about a friend's life are often what people think of as actions that create or maintain friendships.

It's true that these can help a friendship, but they are not what makes up the friendship. If these are done without love, they are empty, and not really helping the friendship. If a friend senses they're only done out of a to-do list, it'll feel empty.

1 Corinthians 13 says if there is no love behind or motivating these actions, these actions are really nothing of worth. Every person desires to be known and truly accepted, and these actions don't necessarily mean that is happening in the friend's heart.

All of those actions I mentioned are good, but only when they are honest actions, produced or motivated out of love.

This also applies to how we approach God. We should aim to get past only focusing on a list of actions to do, and aim to do things more out of a sense of wanting to truly know God and accept his Word.

Knowing with Your Heart

Today a person mentioned the struggle that people sometimes have of knowing something with their mind but not with their heart, and the question of how to connect the two. They understand it, but they don't feel it, and really want to know how to feel it too.

One example is God's love for his children. A person can understand that but not feel it (for instance, they are too hard on themself and have a hard time feeling God isn't too). Another example is giving: a person can see that God desires us to give and giving helps us, but when it comes to giving up extra discretionary money, it feels hard to do.

Life is complex and there are many factors that contribute to knowing with the heart. Of course our God is sovereign and blesses us with knowing things with our heart. Sometimes we don't know when we started to know things with our heart—it was a beautiful gift from God. Other times we pray for it. Sometimes we work or think hard for it too. (And the end result is still all a gift from God.)

So, if you know something with your mind, and want your heart to really understand and know it too, I'd recommend the following:

1. Pray for it. God loves when we ask for something like this—something that he wants us to truly know and feel.

2. Read and think about it. Of course, be sure to read the Bible and listen to people you trust have good theology. They can help you learn more about what you want to know in your heart. The more you know about something, the more you can like it. Many things have many facets to them. Thinking about it allows you to take it all in.

3. Be patient. It takes time. We are growing in knowledge throughout life. It's a part of life, and we can celebrate at each step we take in growing.

Individualism

Post by
Michelle Dowell, Contributor

Individualism is not new to our time and culture. New technologies may allow for more ways to work and be entertained alone. In the past, the cultural expectations might have forced people to do things together more often, but there's no way to know if people had more of a heart to be with and care for others.

Individualism is a result of pride. Pride, which includes thinking that we can do everything on our own, is not new. The Bible talks about it. Proverbs reminds us to be willing to listen to advice and instruction.

If we see ourselves in humility, we know that there is so much to learn and enjoy from others. We should be willing to want to be with others, especially those who seem trustable and know God's word well.

When a strong emphasis is placed on the culture being individualistic, it's possible that people might miss what's in their own heart.

Method and Motive

A common saying is "all is well that ends well." There is some truth to it. We cannot and should not obsess about what could have happened or might have happened.

But in life, motive and methods are key to Christian ethics. You see the bible does not judge human action by external actions only.

Often we will see in life a person with many awards for philanthropy or designations for this or that cause reveal their true character. You see men judge by what could be seen outward actions. But the real truth lied within the heart.

It is ultimately motive and truly seeking the right methods which pleases God. Of course a heart motivated and filled with truth will act.

A heart right before God is a heart which wishes to act. But often there are many outward movements which have the form of a heart right before God, but motive is not there.

We cannot know the heart of others in life, but it is the reason so many people are found out to not be the people we thought they were. They were following external forms for this or that reason with internal reality.

You see the bible is summed in two principles, "love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, so and strength," and "love your neighbor as yourself." You see the world cannot keep the law of God because only what is done out of love for God is truly good.

The world often approximates the good and many non-believers do immense amounts of good works in the world. But it falls short of the ultimate reality of living all of life unto God.

Greatest Hindrance to Scriptural Interpretation

The greatest hindrance to scriptural interpretation is human cleverness. The bible says many things which are difficult to understand, but the vast majority of its teaching is very simple and plain.

Often a theologian or preacher is most in danger of theological error when they move into the Greek to explain what a text means and the meaning is not evident in the translation. It is often simply that the theologian or preacher does not like what the text means.

If you ever see a theologian or preacher seem to shift the meaning of the text with interpretation of Greek watch closely what they say on the topic in the future. Usually you have found a hole in their theology and in each subsequent text on the same topic the issue will be skirted or similarly handled.

The teaching of scripture is almost never so complicated that it requires a five to ten minute lesson on the meaning of Greek words to understand a text. Learning is at many times more neutral than is expected in the modern world. It can be used for good or evil.

Certainly learning is overall something which promotes good, but it does not change the human condition. The heart is deceitful above all things and a falling back into advanced learning to avoid the plain teaching of scripture is very common in the current day.

The bible is really a very plain book. It repeats the important messages it has repeatedly and in many forms. The bible is very insistent on being understood on critical points. That is why it repeats the same truths over and over in different styles and terminologies.

Forgiving Ourselves and Action

Often in life we need to have an attitude of forgiving ourselves in advance. It is not that we should seek to sin; that would be wrong. But often attempting to avoid sin at all costs leads to debilitating inaction.

Maybe we need to have a conversation with a brother or a sister in Christ about something going on. Maybe we need to confront this or that wrong in the world. You see if we are too concerned about not making a mistake we cannot work out our faith in the world..

The bible calls us to act. Sometime when we act against a wrong in the world things can be strange and at times a bit messy.

We need to allow ourselves the grace to understand that it is better to act out of a sincere heart and enter into a difficult situation than it is to seek purity at all costs. Of course the sincerity is of great importance.

I believe at times our sincerity may be best judged by our reluctance to enter into the situation to fix the wrong. You see we value peace and unity, but we know action is necessary, because peace at all costs is not true peace.

Sometimes we need to act and realize that if we have acted by faith we have done right whatever happens. You see God calls us to act, but success is what he grants.

We can act in great faith pleasing to God and not right a wrong. He calls us to act in faith, but the result is in his hands not ours.

Generosity Affects All of Life

Post By
Michelle Dowell, Contributor

Giving brings joy and happiness to a person who gives with the right heart, but what are the ways and reasons it does?

In some ways it's a mystery--we just feel happy when we know we're helping someone. And in another way, we feel good to be following God's command to us to be generous in different ways. The Bible says that those who follow his commands end up finding his ways are sweet.

Here are some specific other reasons/results. I think that giving really helps our worldview re-align with what God would like us to see and have a better knowledge of.

(1) We may feel the peace to slow down or stop on the race to find ways to earn even more money, because giving is a reminder that the center of life shouldn't be money--it's to be able to help ourselves and others in need to the best of our ability.

(2) A reminder that we need others. Taking part in a system of grace reminders us of how we daily need God's grace and grace from others. It's impossible to get anything done without some help. Often the help comes in exchange from money, but there is still a care that needs to be done in doing that work well that the money is exchanged for.

(3) It's a step that acknowledges God's soverignty over all of life. Words only help us so much. We can talk about a concept as much as we like, but action helps re-enforce that concept to truly help us to know the concept better and more truly. God tells us to give and that he will provide for us.

Making Time

If I had time... "I would go to church, spend time with family, do this or that. I would, but I have no time."

It is almost always an excuse. Mainly because we make time for what is important to us. If all we can do is work then we show that only work is important to us (or maybe money).

Often we have choices with time. Our choices reveal our priorities. You see that if we never make it to church because we lack time, it is not that we lack time, but that God is not important to us.

If we would spend time with family, but don't have time, it is not that we lack time, but family is not a priority.

There are always exceptions and odd cases, but the truth is we often justify ourselves with excuses. In a fast paced world lacking time is one of the easiest excuses.

Who will question the truth of our busyness. It is true we are busy, but in the course of busyness it is our true priorities which show forth.

You see if our schedule was wide open and we had not a thing to do it would show nothing of our heart if we did this or that. When we lack time it shows more of our heart in what we choose and what we reject by pushing it to the back burner.

Knowledge

Our culture tends to absolutize knowledge in the category of God. There is a certain seeming validity to this.

Lack of knowledge is often used to oppress and certainly knowledge overall is good. Of course if we move past generalities then the question is less clear.

And we should always move past the general. An overarching picture is of interest but moving deeper in thinking is helpful.

Some knowledge is clearly good to have, some is neutral, some knowledge bad, and some it is unclear. Let me explain neutral and bad knowledge since western cultures have absolutized knowledge.

Bad knowledge is knowledge which is harmful to have. It usually is useless in and of itself and simply a danger to one's heart. You see this most clearly in gossip which is information which is at best useless but has the potential for great harm.

Certain knowledge about others where we have no intent to help with the issues are dangerous to ourselves. You see as Christians we are called to help others.

This is the dangerous state people enter into when they wish to know the problems of others but have no time or interest in helping if it is possible. And this is why the bible condemns gossip. It is a spreading of knowledge which even if true can only be of harm to oneself and relationships.

Neutral knowledge is often simply useless. It seems to have no bearing on anything. A lot of time is spent by many people on wracking up useless knowledge.

I suppose if they enjoy the pursuit of collecting knowledge on topics or trivia as recreation the pursuit has meaning. But many forms of knowledge are simply useless.

Neutral knowledge has a danger if one becomes proud of the useless knowledge. You will see many young pastoral candidates struggle here.

They cannot differentiate between what knowledge is important and what knowledge not. Sometimes they feel proud as they repeat facts which may have no apparent use or are above the comprehension of all listening.

Knowledge is of course a gift from God but as all gifts it is easily twisted by sin. And the point for Christians is to use discernment and not accept simple answers. To think and exercise wisdom in the world.

First will be Last

The bible is full of role reversals. The Pharisees are uncovered for their wickedness. A tax collector and prostitute find forgiveness from God.

You get some interesting teaching in scripture repeated many times that "the first will be last" and the "last will be first." What does it mean.

I think it becomes clear in many cases you will see men who push themselves into the spotlight in the church. They are always at the center of being seen doing the "good" which they do.

The reality is that we must always be very careful of showing our good works to the world. Obviously if you volunteer at a Christian event it will be noticed, but obviously there is a difference between serving and serving and then flaunting ones service to the world.

Those who are last are often the humble of heart. Many people do not notice the great good these people are doing simply because they have not wished to flaunt it before men. These are the sincere people of heart who have done good because they have loved God and not because the have loved the praise of men.

Obviously the good we do in the world should hopefully please many people. But sometimes the will of God is to speak the truth and the will of God could lead to displeasing many people.

The reality is that God is the judge of actions and each of us is accountable in the end only to God. Listening to the wisdom of the leaders of the church is of great importance, but only insofar as what they say is in accord to the teaching of God.

Sheep & Wolves

There are always seem to be a bunch of bad apples in the Church. Does this mean that there are bad apple Christians?

Christianity is a transforming power. The gospel slowly changes us to become better people. True saving faith always produces fruit. It may take time, but God is at work in the heart of the Christian.

God meets people where they are and proceeds to make them better. The bible also warns about not making hasty judgments of others.

But the reality is there are a lot of unsaved people in the church. Often they cause great harm to the church. Sometimes they are attracted to the community of the church and sometimes the church is a place of standing for them to find business or social advantages.

It's always important to not simply trust a person because they attend this or that church. As Jesus reminds us that we will know his followers by the fruit they produce in their lives.

If you interact enough with some well esteemed Christian business men and women in the church in the business world you will quickly find out that things, at times, may not be as they seem. Can these "godly" people be wolves in disguise?

The answer is possibly. It is always difficult to know the status of another before God. But the bible teaches us to test the spirits.

We should not simply assume that because this person has a good reputation that they will act in a Christian way. The church often judges very superficially.

People are impressed by main things which are of no spiritual significance. So if you meant a man with a great Christian reputation, it may because he is a great Christian or because he just knows the right things to say and do.

Saying the right things is of course of no use. Many people say the right things but they have not penetrated into their heart. Salvation is a matter of the heart, not necessarily an ability to speak the right words.

Some thoughts on 'The Quiet Life'

It is interesting today that the moral life is often equated with filling your day with doing good.  To be moral, as many think, is to be in a constant state of activity of 'doing good'.  It is interesting since the two greatest commandments in the bible are commands to be, not to do.  Loving the Lord your God is first a call to a life of personal devotion and prayer and then a call to act.  Loving your neighbor is first a call to an attitude toward your neighbor and then a call act.  Good works (doing good) by will power and not out of pleasure is not part of the Christian tradition, but the Pharisaic tradition.  The Pharisaic tradition was quite impressive at keeping/doing commandments, but missed the whole thrust of the law which is first being a certain way and then doing out of that sort of heart.  The difficulty is that God demands all of our heart-mind-soul-strenght as his own, while we loves so little thus violating the whole of the law.  But, that is the meaning of the cross - that we receive what Christ deserves and he on the cross what we deserve.

The trust of what I'm getting at is that the quiet life is essential to the holy life.  Jesus himself spent much of his time in the quiet life - he went to remote regions - he went upon the sea - he withdrew from crowds seeking teaching.  If Jesus could not minister without the quite life, then how can we?  It is in a sense, knowingly or unknowingly, very prideful to think we could lead a holy life without the quiet life as even Jesus could not do this.

Billy Graham was asked if he was to redo his ministry what the most significant thing would change would be. He said that he would pray more and read more scripture and preach less. Often we can accomplish more in ministry by focusing more on being and less on doing. Sometimes we accomplish little because we try to do too much.

George Muller Quote

"I must have my heart happy in God or I will be of no use to anybody." George Muller